Patterns of Love in Your Marriage

patterns of love


When colors, shapes, and sounds come together, delightful patterns can be formed.

You encounter them everywhere: in the clothes you wear, the furnishings you buy, the music you hear.

While some patterns are easy to spot, some are much more subtle.

Patterns of love tend to be this less obvious type, since they develop slowly over time, mostly in small ways.

That means they need to be worked at regularly to be able to see the pattern take shape.

When you do so, you can create the pattern of a stronger, healthier, and  more joyful marriage.


You begin with the framework of your relationship: the warp threads.

These are the long strands that represent the span of your lives, the core of who you both are.

Strong and flexible as spider’s silk, they hold the opposing fibers—the weft threads—in place.

It is these weft threads that you choose each day, that bring in the color, texture, and more to create the beautiful tapestry of your marriage.


While threads and fibers are the stock in trade for the weaver, words and actions are yours.

How can you use those to create your tapestry?

Share them repeatedly and often so your spouse sees, hears, or feels your love every day.


For example, you can create small traditions.

Share breakfast in bed on the weekend, take leisurely walks in the evening, or host stay-at-home date nights.

Cuddle on the couch for soul talk, because you gotta have soul.

Discover his love language.

Put flirty and fun love notes in your husband’s lunchbox or briefcase reminding him what it is you adore about him.

Surprise him with inexpensive and creative gifts.


As Henry Ward Beecher said,

We sleep, but the loom of life never stops, and the pattern which was weaving when the sun went down is weaving when it comes up in the morning.

The secret is to be intentional about taking these small and positive steps to weave patterns of love.

Over time, you will be able to look back over the fabric of your marriage, a smile crinkling the corners of your mouth as you run your fingers over the beloved and familiar patterns, feeling the rough patches that blend into the smooth, marveling how the darker areas provide contrast and definition for the brighter ones, and knowing this work of art will continue to provide much warmth, comfort, and joy.

Comment: What are words or actions you use to create patterns of love in your marriage?


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  1. Thanks for sharing these lovely thoughts today. It was like reading poetry. Blessings for this one!

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