What Driver’s Ed teaches you about solving problems

When you took Driver’s Education in high school, you were taught to be aware of all your surroundings so you would be safe behind the wheel.

As you looked ahead, you scanned the traffic and the roadsides.

You glanced regularly at your rear view mirror, where you kept an eye on the vehicles and the highway behind you.

Any object that was close to your car loomed large, sharp, and colorful, and sometimes caused you great concern.

Your instructor would guide you in the best response so you could safely get beyond those things.

As you heeded his advice, anything that was a possible hazard receded into the distance, until it disappeared completely from view.

Many of our day-to-day experiences, especially the problems, are similar to those images in the mirror.

How can something that appears big and scary fade later into obscurity, stripped of its larger-than-life size and emotion?

How can it, at a point in the future, sometimes even morph into a humorous anecdote that you share, such as “Remember that time when I was 2,500 miles away, and it was the middle of the night, and I was calling you because we got the car stuck in the snow on what barely qualified as a road on the Lewis and Clark trail?

Time. Perspective. Prayer.

That’s all.

I know. It sounds too simplistic.

Solving problems in many situations, though, can be done with these three tools because it’s how you are seeing and responding to an issue that is the real problem.

Move time forward

Little Billy has dropped his breakfast  on the floor,  you can’t find your car keys, and you are frustrated that your mornings never go smoothly.

Stop. Take a deep breath or two.

Close your eyes and take a few moments to imagine looking back at your situation from the future.

Put your imagination in gear, perhaps like this:

Fast forward to the weekend, and you are laughing and relaxing with your family.

Your adorable son throws his arms around you and tickles your neck with a warm cocoa and marshmallow I love you, mom.

Bam!

Just like that your body relaxes, your heart softens, and you are more able to respond with love.

Resources:

Deep breathing and using imagery

A must have decision-making tool

Shift your perspective

A powerful shift in perspective is the equivalent of your Driver’s Ed teacher slamming on the brakes because you are about to crash into another car.

It really shakes you up, but it has you paying attention to traffic in a whole new way.

Great questions offer a less stressful and more helpful path to that fresh point of view.

Tim Milburn poses a terrific one:

What kind of story do I want to tell a year from now about this problem?

Other questions you can ask:

How can I be grateful for this, now or in the future?

How much will this matter next month or next year?

If I step away and view this situation as though it were a movie, what would action would I be yelling at the lead character—Me!—to do?

Take a few minutes to ask these questions, and you will be surprised at the almost automatic shift to a more positive mindset where you are more calm and capable about solving problems.

Resources:

 Through grateful eyes: a fresh perspective

Finding gratitude amidst the storm

 Add prayer

I love what Bill Hybels has to say in his book Too Busy Not to Pray. Here are a few tidbits:

Prayer is a bridge from despair to hope.

If you lower the ambient noise of your life and listen expectantly for those whispers of God, your ears will hear them. And when you follow their lead, your world will be rocked.

If the request is wrong, God says, No. If the timing is wrong, God says, Slow. If you are wrong, God says, Grow. But if the request is right, the timing is right and you are right, God says, Go!

“Learning to pray,” as Paul Miller said in his book A Praying Life, “does’t offer a less busy life, it offers a less busy heart.”

A less busy heart is a heart that has more time and space for peace, compassion, and clear-headed problem solving.

Resources: 

What song are you singing today?

Praying in the midst of a storm

Here are a few more resources for solving problems, and also for laying the groundwork to help avoid as many potholes as possible.

Life is pounding at the door: Are you ready?

Overwhelmed? 6 steps to more peace of mind 

The 5 Why’s: A simple problem-solving technique

The next time you find yourself getting tangled up, irritated, and angry, remember what you learned in Driver’s Ed: how you choose to respond is crucial to both avoiding and solving problems.

I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn’t like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid.  ~John 14:27 (NLT)

Question: Where do you have the most trouble responding in the midst of difficulty?

Original image credit: Sarah Joy

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