The importance of stretching your comfort zone

Do you remember the anxiety of learning to drive?

There was that sheer terror of keeping your eyes on a million things at once, knowing if you lost focus for a nanosecond, you’d cause the biggest accident on the planet ever.

When you hop in your car now, do any of your early concerns even cross your mind?

Of course not, because driving is something you can practically do in your sleep. . .

. . .but please don’t.

Over time, you moved out of one comfort zone into a newly stretched, roomier version.

 

Sunday Drive or Speed Test

Instead of that move resembling a long, slow, Sunday drive, what if it was more like setting a new land speed record on the Bonneville Salt Flats in a blazing fast race car?

In all likelihood, the thought of crossing that distance in a single, hydrogen-fueled burst sends shivers up your spine.

You may actually prefer edging into that new territory like Grandpa drives, his turn signal going blinka, blinka, blinka, as he slowly turns onto the highway.

 

It’s ok to go slow

Admit it.

You have poked fun—or worse—at slow drivers.

And yet, when it comes to making changes, you might be the turtle.

You either step forward at your very slow and deliberate pace, or you just pull back into your shell and sit still until the threat of change has passed.

It’s important to go at your own pace, even if it’s slow, because that means you are moving ahead.

 

But going too slow means you might get stuck 

Sometimes, however, you do need a little push or encouragement to make sure you are continuing to move forward.

Accountability partners, mastermind groups, vision boards, and how-to books can be helpful, plus setting some short-term achievable goals.

Especially important is to give yourself permission to do what works for you and not compare yourself with others.

Remember that comparison is the thief of joy and  the killer of motivation.

 

Get comfortable with discomfort

One final key to successfully and regularly moving out of your comfort zone is to practice getting comfortable with discomfort.

For example, any time you have learned a new skill or started a new job, you were probably uncomfortable.

Over time, you became comfortable in that new space.

When your diet contains regular small daily doses of comfort zone expansion, you will become more accustomed to the discomfort, i.e., change will become easier.

Additionally, here are a few of the benefits of that change:

Meeting new people

Increasing opportunities

Gaining greater confidence

Being a positive role model for friends, family and others

Becoming a happier, more interesting, capable person

Nurturing a more patient and flexible mind-set, which helps you be a better spouse

Developing more resiliency, since you will no doubt fail at some changes, yet you survive

To get you started, here is a list of small and big ideas that can serve as a stepping off point.

 

Suggestions for stretching your comfort zone

1. Change up the familiar. Rearrange a room, drive a different way to work, schedule a week’s worth of dinners with new recipes with unfamiliar spices, have a fashion-savvy friend help you pick out a new outfit that is a departure from your norm.

2. Take photos in public. Lie down for a unique vantage point. Yes, on the sidewalk or grass. Yes, this will stretch you. And possibly get you dirty. But your photography will be better for it, and so will you.

3. Speak—and listen—to strangers. I know your mom warned you against this, but I assume you will be smart and safe with whom and what you share, and, no, I will not come and bail you out of jail if it comes to that. Just catch their eye and strike up a conversation. Everyone has stories to share, and you just might be amazed at what you learn.

4. Volunteer. Help out at your area food pantry or animal shelter, spend time in an assisted-living facility, or go on a missions trip here or abroad. Not only will it do your heart good, but your efforts will be deeply appreciated. As author Jeff Goins says, Get Wrecked.

5. Enroll in a financial management class and share something stupid you’ve done. This is a twofer!

6. Write a thank youemail or snail mail—to someone whose writing you enjoyed or found helpful.

7. Enter a writing challenge, even if the words are for your eyes only at first. Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday is a delightfully quick rush, and for something bigger and longer, there’s NaNoWriMo.

8. Join a Toastmasters Club and take the opportunity to get more comfortable with communicating, especially public speaking. You can start small by making dinnertime more engaging with Family TableTopics conversation starter cards.

9. Jump at the chance to learn. Take a class in photography, art, writing, or the sciences, attend a free event at your local college, pick up an instrument and take group lessons. Be sure to sit right up front, ask lots of questions, and share your work, too.

10. Sign up for a radical event. A 5K Mud Run, half or full marathon, or sky diving, mountain climbing, or white water rafting. Stop being a wallflower and start being a doer! My daughter gave me a sky diving gift certificate for Christmas, and we will be going in next month or two. I admit to waffling between sheer exhilaration and stomach-churning fear, but I am going!

 

To get the most out of life, you need to live with intention.

Stretching your boundaries is part of that.

Learn to embrace the sharpening of your character that comes with those experiences, as well as the discomfort and joy that are a natural by-product of the process.

Be prepared for success, yet understand failure isn’t an indictment. It is just information we can use to get up and keep moving forward.

Now, start your engines, and stretch away! Vroooom, vroooom!

 

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.  ~Will Rogers


 

Sharing at NOBH, Happy Wives Club, Soli Deo Gloria, Fellowship Fridays

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Comments

  1. I don’t know why we’re so uncomfortable with discomfort. Oh wait, yeah I do. Because it’s uncomfortable! Makes us feel uneasy. It can even hurt a bit. But where else do we grow?
    Jeff Goins recently posted…The Real Secret to Turning ProMy Profile

    • Oh, thanks for the laugh, Jeff. Where else do we grow, indeed? I know I’m always grateful later. . .
      Loved Get Wrecked, btw! Thanks for coming by to share your thoughts.

  2. Love this post, Kim! Especially laying in the grass to get good shots. That’s a MUST! This is a great tie-in to the Graffiti study I’m doing. Thanks for giving me some other ideas :)
    Susan Stilwell recently posted…A Monday Pause ~ Days PlannedMy Profile

    • Ah, yes-LARGE leaps out of your comfort zone! When I was a photography student, my daughters would be embarrassed at my behavior, like lying on the ground. Once my oldest became a photography student, she recognized the wisdom and fun in doing so. Our family vacation photos routinely show one or more of us lying down or doing something similarly different to capture an image.

      Glad I gave you ideas. I look forward to seeing what you are doing, Susan!

  3. You always have such great ideas, Kim. I’m going to look into Toastmasters myself. I’ve thought about in the past, but reading about how you’re doing it is giving me that nudge to look into it again. And I think you’ve really pointed out an important point that people often forget–stretching out of your comfort zone might hurt. Yikes! But that’s so true! Thanks for always being so practical, insightful and resourceful! Love it!

    • You are so very welcome, Beth! Keith and I have been going since November, and our youngest daughter and her boyfriend joined in April. Keith has gone from being very, very nervous to really enjoying—and being good at—speaking in front of people. All of us have benefitted for sure. I think you’ll love Toastmasters! Let me know how it goes.

  4. Dear Kim
    I was properly compelled out of my comfort zone when I was diagnosed with Fm/CFS! Just the thought that I would experience pain and exhaustion for the rest of my life, if God doesn’t heal me, frightened me. But I had no other choice to adapt and to build a new life through His grace to accommodate my new limitations. Well, Jesus is so gracious and taught me how to live 24/7 through His power. And sometimes He does give me a little nudge forward.
    Blessings
    Mia
    Mia recently posted…Empty LampsMy Profile

    • Mia, that diagnosis must have been difficult to hear, and frightening, too. I am so glad you have found a way to grow in faithfulness and trust rather than choosing to “mumble and grumble” and “complain bitterly”, as you wrote about on your blog! Thanks so much for sharing. There just may be someone who needs to hear your story. :-)

  5. Kim, I love the analogies you use to teach us all such great lessons. They are always so relatable and can easily be implemented with just the change of our mindset. Love it!
    Fawn Weaver recently posted…Marriage Mondays: Top 10 Tips to Have Date Night on the Cheap {& Link Up}My Profile

  6. Kim,
    how do you do it…be so encouraging and funny at the same time…I am a definite turtle as you can tell with my manifesto…I am feeling definitely stuck…but I am plodding along…Thanks for all of the awesome tips :)
    Dolly recently posted…When beauty beckons you…My Profile

    • Oh, Dolly. You may be stuck today, but you’ll move forward again. Perhaps God has you in “resting mode”. :-) Thanks as always for your kind words and buddy-ship!

  7. You are always so encouraging and bring many smiles. Thank you for all the wonderful advice you share. I’m working on stretching my comfort zone, but it’s a daily challenge. Your words are a blessing.
    Beth recently posted…Serve the least of these {Graffiti Summer}My Profile

    • I agree-it is a daily challenge to stretch our comfort zone. Some days are easier than others. I’m touched you consider my words a blessing. I hope you are able to approach your next change with more ease!

  8. Both literally and figuratively I have been both the speed demon and the turtle! I mean, seriously, even when just thinking about driving and not the deeper stuff..

    Learning to take photos in public and yes, from unique vantage points, was a big stretch for me. Now I find it less painful and but there are certainly ways I’m hesitating to grow in. Turtle here!
    Tamara recently posted…Girls of Summer.My Profile

    • Turtle, car, turtle, car. I would say you are multi-talented, Tamara! I’m glad you are more comfortable with shooting from unique vantage points-I’d love to see that sometime! Your photography shows it-it just glows! Thanks for stopping by.

  9. I love this idea and I love the suggestions you make for us to practice getting out of our comfort zones. I know that distance running has helped me stretch in other areas of my life. Once that brain and heart knows we can push further in one category, we are more likely to do it in other categories.
    Ilene recently posted…Late One NightMy Profile

    • You are so right, especially about the running, Ilene! Your words remind me of a book I quoted after completing a 7 Day Stamina Challenge. (Talk about STRETCHING myself!) In “Stop Saying You’re Fine”, Mel Robbins talks about fake limits and how our brains spoof us. I think you’d like it. Check out the post here: http://www.toodarnhappy.com/2011/09/15/7-day-stamina-challenge-wrap-up
      I am eternally grateful for your friendship and encouragement! Thanks. xo

  10. Kim, oh, you are amazing–I just love this advice. It makes me think about how much I would miss out on life if I refused to take some risks. I can’t wait to hear about the sky diving.
    Jennifer recently posted…You’ve been picked for the teamMy Profile

    • Thank you, Jennifer! I’m glad this gave you food for thought. Yes, I will be reporting on the skydiving. Can’t wait to do it (most of the time)!

  11. Ugh! There it is again, Toast Masters. . . why do they keep popping up every where I go. I think that means I should act on the idea I’ve been tossing around forever and just head to a meeting!
    Amy Sullivan recently posted…One Way to Beat Your Fear of FallingMy Profile

  12. Well, then, Amy. I guess you do indeed need to pop on over to a meeting to check it out. :-) You can find meetings near you, and visit as often and as many clubs as you like. They all have a particular personality, so look for one that is a good fit. Truly, they are some of the most encouraging folks I have found.
    Toastmasters is not just about public speaking either. You get more comfortable speaking to people you don’t know at small gatherings and at work meetings. You get more confident speaking up at home and at work. My hubbie, 25 yr old daughter & her very shy boyfriend and I all belong, and have benefited. Go check it out, and let me know how it goes!

  13. Wonderful post! I needed to read this too. I am one to get too comfortable with the normal routine of things but this leaves me frustrated in the end. Switching things up and getting out of my comfort zone is a must.
    Thanks again!

Trackbacks

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