Go ahead and make my day: Ask for help!

Quick! Have you pinned the latest, coolest decorating ideas on Pinterest, bought the ingredients for the most fabulous cookie swap, and bookmarked multiple sites on how to be the most awesome hostess ever?

Whoa! Bring that wild ride to a slow stop, and take a few breaths.

There’s a good possibility you are trying to do too much, and to do it all alone, because you are Super Mom.

That’s right: I’m saying that Out. Loud. To. You.

With love, of course.

In honor of slowing down and making time for the important, I am bringing back a post from last Christmas that continues to resonate with moms.

Remove that cape, have a seat and take a few moments for yourself, dear friend. :-)


Oh, the irony. . .

There is something ironic about this morning as I write this post while simultaneously printing out a twenty-five day project list for being organized throughout the Christmas season. Oh, and did I say that my gifts aren’t wrapped, I have come down with a cold, family has started to arrive for the holiday (hooray!), it’s our younger daughter’s birthday and we are expecting around twenty-fourish for dinner, although that number keeps rising?


But it’s ok. Usually I would be frantic and my dear hubbie and daughters would be gently reminding me to just slow down.

We are all where we are, and it will be ok.

I have written quite a bit this year about working on truly enjoying the season, and remembering that what is important is having time for friends and family. They really won’t care if there are a few less cookies, or if the bed isn’t made just right, or if there aren’t five different entrees for every meal. They have come to spend time with the whole family, and that includes us moms.

Did you hear that, my dear moms?


The family wants to spend time with US.

Let me say it again. They came to spend time with US.
If they just wanted maid service, they would have gone somewhere else for the Christmas break.

They don’t want a cookservant who comes and goes with their meals and picks up after them, and if they do, shame on them.

That bears repeating.



Moms-I want you to do something different and daring this year.


Yes. You heard me.


Each of you reading this, please pass it on to every mom you know.

Ask your mom, “What would be the most help, doing dishes or helping with the meal ?”

You can fill in your own tasks there, as the above are just two examples.

Do NOT ask “Do you need help?” because they will just automatically say “no”.

Better yet, just grab the dish towel out of their hands, and force guide them gently to wherever folks are gathered and relaxing for conversation, and then grab invite some of those folks to help out wherever it is needed.


However, if you are the guilty party, promise yourself right now that you will ask for help.

Your family is at the ready, but since you have made a career out of being a Super Mom, they sit, waiting to be waited on, not realizing the tremendous toll it takes.

Is this the role model you want for the dear young ladies in your life?

Where is the joy and peace?

Moms, I apologize if my tone is not as gentle and inviting today, but this is an issue very close to my heart, as it is something I see and hear about a great deal from mothers everywhere. One of my wishes for this season is to have each of you just let go, admit you are just one person, and that it is a good thing to ask for help.

Remember-many hands make light work and for a more joyful time.

Just do it.

For you and everyone in your family.


More resources in case you missed them or need another deep drink of courage and refreshment:

Overwhelmed? Six steps to more peace of mind. (The secret-it’s all about margin!)

Curiosity did not kill the cat; it gave her room to breathe. (The secret-cultivating curiosity as your default response!)

The holiday gathering invitation you’d really like to send. (No secret. :-) Just layers of love and forgiveness!)


I encourage you to print this post out to look at every day, if that will help. Share it with a friend who could use the encouragement. Pin it to your favorite board to help you remember. Whatever it takes so you have time for those important things in your life and not just the urgent.


Question: What keeps you from asking for help?


Sharing at NOBH, Better Mom, Finding Heaven, PYHO

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  1. Love this message, so very important!
    Galit Breen recently posted…My Life in Numbers {Memories Captured Linky!}My Profile

  2. SO true! We really do don the cape & try to be all things to all people so many times. I have the outside of our home looking pretty spiffy–love those green wreaths & red bows against our white bricks! But inside, oh, my! There are decorations lying on the floor of the entryway, & the tree hasn’t even been retrieved from the attic. Not one gift is wrapped. But all will be well. I’m focusing on what will be done & doing a bit each day. ‘Tis the season to be merry, even moms! I remind myself of that truth daily, after years of making myself sick trying to get it all done while being bombarded with end-of-semester essays, tests, & details. Enjoy, ladies!
    Vivi recently posted…“A Little Child Shall Lead Them”My Profile

    • It sounds like you’ve learned well from the past, Vivi! Been there, done that, too. I just shake my head and wonder what was I thinking. Glad you’ve taken off the cape!

  3. A lovely, thoughtful message, Kim!
    Alison recently posted…Memories Captured – December Link Up!My Profile

  4. Perfect timing for a perfect message. Thanks for the reminder.
    Missy recently posted…Are You a Calendar Nerd Like Me?My Profile

  5. Kim – This post is a timely and important reminder for me. Thanks!
    Connie Foster recently posted…ANNIVERSARY MONTHMy Profile

  6. Preach it, sista!! AMEN! As an in-progress Mama living far, far from any relatives/family that can offer a helping hand, I miss the extra help. With everything going on this year, we are taking the holidays down a notch– no, we aren’t being grinchy, but we are re-evaluating our priorities. Gifts for the family? Well, budget is pretty tight so we are saying our contribution is gas/hotel/travel expenses to drive a total of 45 hrs in the next 2 wks to see family.

    And they are FINE with it. I will sure lend a helping hand when it get there– but really, spending time together as a family is most important… The Army Life has taught us that In. A. HURRY.

    Thanks for blessing me today with this great post!
    Sharita recently posted…Get Rich Quick…My Profile

    • Great point, Sharita! I had never thought of taking down the celebration as Grinchy, but I think that is the message we hear! Anything less than over the top means you just “don’t have the spirit”.

      I’m so glad you’ll be able to visit family this Christmas, and especially that gifts are not the measure of a quality Christmas. Thank you for your service, and for your very sweet words! I am reminded of Proverbs 16:24: Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

  7. A great reminder during this hectic season about what is really important…Thanks, Kim..wishing you and yours a most blessed Christmas :) Thanks for visiting me at Nikki’s…appreciate it :)
    Dolly recently posted…How do you let Jesus be born in you?My Profile

    • There is so much that battles for our attention, Dolly, isn’t there? You are welcome, and thanks for your encouraging words here and in your writing!

  8. Wow, I could have sworn I read this yesterday (I mean I remember reading it) and left a comment. Apparently, though, I couldn’t stop the crazy holiday brain train long enough to actually write something…clearly, I need to ask for help! Anyway, GREAT job here! :)
    thedoseofreality recently posted…Top 10 Pinterest Recipes We Would Make…If We Actually CookedMy Profile

    • “The crazy holiday brain train”. Now there is a great name for what goes on in our heads when we go off the tracks! Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

  9. Perfect timing to read this post for me. I’ve been making it a point to try to slow down and enjoy the season but apparently haven’t been doing a good enough job. Thanks for the reminder.
    Christine recently posted…Memories Captured: Magical MemoriesMy Profile

    • To continue the metaphor started by thedoseofreality, it can be really hard to slow that train down once we start picking up speed and obligations. We don’t want to disappoint or miss out on the fun, so we keep adding to that calendar that is already groaning with the load.

      Glad you are trying to slow down. Baby steps, baby steps. :-) Thanks for coming by, Christine!

  10. We do need to remember we cannot do it all! Period.
    adrienne recently posted…tick, tock.My Profile

  11. I have been practicing this because I usually don’t ask. I do it all until I’m overwhelmed and irritated. And it’s selfish really, not giving others the chance to be a part of things. When I see it that way, it makes it easier to let others in on the work.
    lori recently posted…Close Enough to Forget: Brian MillerMy Profile

  12. Great post!1 Not just at the holidays, but all the time.

  13. Beautiful reminder to all of us Moms that we do need help from time to time :) Have a wonderful and blessed holiday season.
    Maureen recently posted…‘Tis The Season of ChangesMy Profile

    • Love your name, Maureen. Makes me think of the thousands and thousands of cookies scooped with love my mom has made. :-) Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

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