There is something very ironic about this morning as I write this post while simultaneously printing out a twenty-five day project list for being organized throughout the Christmas season. Oh, and did I say that my gifts aren’t wrapped, I have come down with a cold, family has started to arrive for the holiday (hooray!), it’s our younger daughter’s birthday and we are expecting around twenty-fourish for dinner, although that number keeps rising?
Whew.
But it’s ok. Usually I would be frantic and my dear hubbie and daughters would be gently reminding me to just slow down.
We are all where we are, and it will be ok.
I have written quite a bit this year about working on truly enjoying the season, and remembering that what is important is having time for friends and family. They really won’t care if there are a few less cookies, or if the bed isn’t made just right, or if there aren’t five different entrees for every meal. They have come to spend time with the whole family, and that includes us moms.
Did you hear that, my dear moms?
The family wants to spend time with US.
Let me say it again. They came to spend time with US.
If they just wanted maid service, they would have gone somewhere else for the Christmas break.
They don’t want a cookservant who comes and goes with their meals and picks up after them, and if they do, shame on them.
That bears repeating.
SHAME. ON. THEM.
Moms-I want you to do something different and daring this year.
ASK. FOR. HELP.
Yes. You heard me.
ASK. FOR. HELP.
Each of you reading this, please pass it on to every mom you know.
Ask your moms, “What would be the most help, doing dishes or helping with the meal ?”
You can fill in your own tasks there, as the above are just two examples.
Do NOT ask “Do you need help?” because they will just automatically say “no”.
Better yet, just grab the dish towel out of their hands, and force guide them gently to wherever folks are gathered and relaxing for conversation, and then grab invite some of those folks to help out wherever it is needed.
However, if you are the guilty party, promise yourself right now that you will ask for help.
Your family is at the ready, but since you have made a career out of being a supermom, they sit, waiting to be waited on, not realizing the tremendous toll it takes.
Is this the role model you want for the dear young ladies in your life?
Where is the joy and peace?
Moms, I apologize if my tone is not as gentle and inviting today, but this is an issue very close to my heart, as it is something I see and hear about a great deal from mothers everywhere. One of my wishes for this season is to have each of you just let go, admit you are just one person, and that it is a good thing to ask for help.
Remember-many hands make light work.
Just do it.
For you and everyone in your family.
Sharing at No Ordinary Blog Hop
Thank you for sharing this. These are things that I needed to hear.
Hope you have a blessed Christmas and enjoy your family!!
You are welcome, Colleen. Christmas joy, peace and blessings to you as well!
Great post and I fail in asking for more help from my own children! Need to work on getting them more active around the house WITHOUT them complaining! :/ Thanks for sharing this at NOBH!
Great advice:) Something all MOM need to hear and do.
We are such helpers and caregivers that sometimes we do too much, and don’t give our loved ones the opportunity to help. It’s great that you will be asking for more help!
“They come to spend time with US”…….I really needed to hear that! I am so bad about anytime someone comes over I spend the first two minutes apologizing for the state of my home, and then talking to them WHILE PICKING UP!!! That’s awful! And I don’t even realize it when I’m doing it! Not until after they leave….then I think “Wow, if they didn’t know I have a large family when they came over, then they don’t know me!”
Thank you so much for this not-so-gentle reminder :0) I really appreciate the guidance. The guidance to be more relaxed and make memories happen. I don’t want my legacy to be “Yeah, Michelle was really nice, but all I remember is that she was always cleaning up. Like…..always.”
Blessings on your head!
Michelle-wow!-thank you so much for your comment. I think you speak for so many moms! So many of us do exactly what you do, oftentimes without even realizing it. My hope is that through my words, yours, and words of others, that moms will hear and see that we value TIME with them, not a perfectly clean house or a dinner spread fit for a king.